Surviving Witching Hour - What You Need To Know

Every parent who’s ever raised an infant knows all about that time of day when no matter what you do, your baby just won’t settle down. Some call it “the Witching Hour”. Some call it “Arsenic Hour”. Some simply just cry through it with their baby, devoid of words for the frustration and anxiety you’re both feeling. This anti-magical time takes place between 3pm and 11pm for most babies, and often it feels like there’s not much you can do to give your little love much relief from whatever big feelings they’re having in their little bodies. 

Despite what you yourself might be feeling during Witching Hour as a parent, knowing that this is a normal occurrence that basically all babies go through is helpful for most to get through the struggle. Below we’ve compiled some helpful information, tips, and tricks to help you survive the inevitable and exhausting Witching Hour.

What is Witching Hour ? 

Specifically, Witching Hour refers to the stretch of time at the end of the day, roughly 1-1.5 hours before mealtime, where everyone is transitioning from their day into evening. For older kids and parents, this is usually the time of transition between work/school and dinnertime. This also goes for daycare aged infants to toddlers, as they also experience a transition from one location to the other with dinnertime on the end.

What causes Witching Hour?

Often, the meltdowns and maladaptive feelings that occur during this time can be attributed to either exhaustion, hunger, overstimulation, or all of the above. Especially for the littles in our lives, a full day of school or daycare can be A LOT of stimulation and cause some pretty big feelings when they get home to their safe space and safe people. 

Do newborns experience Witching Hour? 

But what about newborns? They’re not transitioning from a 9-5 job or a full day of school? Why do they melt down at this time in the day as well? 

If you live in a neighborhood with families, you may see a brigade of parents with strollers walking around (weather permitting) between the hours of 3pm and dark, or sometimes even afterward! Yes, newborns are not immune to Witching Hour, although their frame of reference isn’t necessarily on a work or school schedule. If you think about a newborn’s life, it’s one big transition! Often newborns will struggle with their own Witching Hour due to just existing on the outside. Particularly, if you’ve gotten your newborn on a feeding schedule, you’ll see them start to struggle prior to their evening feeding time, as they’ve presumably been awake and active for most of the day and are inching toward bedtime.

How do you stop Witching Hour from taking hold of your home? 

The reality is - you can’t stop it. Babies and kids are just tiny humans, and you’ll never be able to control all their feelings every single day. However, there are some tips and tricks that parents have figured out over the years to help stave off Witching Hour, or at least lessen the effects.

Reconnect With Your Kids at the End of the Day

Many believe that kids enter into a meltdown phase during Witching Hour because they are seeking connection and safety from their adults after a day away. Although they usually can’t and won’t tell you in plain language, your kids have missed you all day! Taking an extra minute to greet them when you pick them up or off the bus, make meaningful eye contact, and listen to them about their day could make all the difference.

Make Sure You’re in a Good Place

Did you just leave a stressful meeting? Are you uncomfortable in your work clothes? Do you need to use the restroom? All of these things factor into your own demeanor and emotional state when you see your kids at the end of the day. Making sure you are approaching them with an even keel can help them stay on solid ground in a couple of hours.

Have the Kids Help With Dinner - Or At Least Keep Them Connected While You Cook!

Keep that connection while you start to prepare dinner for your family. Obviously it’s easier to plunk a kid down in front of the TV sometimes while you whip something together, but when you can include them or at least keep them close, it will help them to feel connected and my help stave off some tears and tantrums down the line!

Stay at Home Parents Need Time Too

Talk to you partner about what you need when they get home, especially if you’ve been with your kiddo all day. Maybe you need five minutes to wash your face and make a cup of tea before jumping back in. Maybe you and your partner have decided that making dinner is your quiet time while they do the reconnecting after a long day. Maybe you need to take a walk around the block after a particularly hard afternoon with your little one. Whatever is needed, making sure you and your support system have an open line of communication and a plan of attack will also help you to avoid the Witching Hour for yourself!

Try Everything!

for a fussy newborn during Witching Hour, nothing is off limits! Swaddle, rock, swing, sing, walk, bounce, feed, sleep - nothing is off the table as long as its safe for you and for baby! Make sure if you start to feel frustrated that you ask for a break or walk away after safely securing baby somewhere. They will be okay for a few minutes while you collect yourself and your sanity. Remember that your cortisol levels rise when you’re stressed, and the stress makes it not only hard for them to settle down, but will also make it difficult for you to sleep later. Invest in some earplugs when everything you’ve tried isn’t working and you just can’t handle listening to your baby cry anymore. It is incredibly difficult, emotional, and stress inducing when you’ve done everything in your power to help soothe your baby and nothing is working. It may feel like it’ll never end, but we promise, it will!

The most important thing to remember is to be gentle on yourself. Too often that’s the first thing to go - we rarely give enough grace to ourselves in situations that are stressful or emotionally taxing. Couple that with sleep deprivation and you’ve got a recipe for some negative self talk and resentment. It’s important to remind yourself that all parents experience something similar to what you’re going through, and that there is support out there. 

You’ve got this, and you’ve got Beautiful Births & Beyond Doulas to help support wherever we can! Contact us today!