Attachment Parenting
There are many ways in which a child can be parented. There are hundreds of different methods, modalities, and philosophies in which you can choose to bring up a child. With the expansion of the internet, different parenting styles have come to the forefront from all around the world, and you are able to research, choose, and customize your own parenting style based on what is best for you and your family.
Attachment parenting is a parenting philosophy that emphasizes the importance of forming a strong emotional bond between parent and child and maintaining that bond for as long as possible. This approach involves practices such as co-sleeping, baby-wearing, and feeding on demand, often well into childhood. While attachment parenting has its supporters who state that it promotes healthy emotional development and secure attachment, others believe that it can lead to a lack of independence in children and increased, unnecessary stress for parents.
In this blog, we will explore the positives and negatives of attachment parenting as a method of parenting. Remember - if it works for you and your family, that’s all that matters!
Benefits of Attachment Parenting:
Promotes Secure Attachment: Attachment parenting emphasizes the importance of forming a strong emotional bond between parent and child. When parents respond consistently and sensitively to their child's needs, it creates a sense of security and tust in the child, which is essential for healthy emotional development. Attachment parenting doesn’t typically utilize tactics such as the “cry it out” method, instead ensuring that all needs are met as immediately as possible with little to no time for the child to figure it out on their own.
Encourages Chestfeeding: Chestfeeding is an essential component of attachment parenting. Milk provides optimal nutrition for babies and helps build a strong immune system. Chestfeeding also promotes bonding between mother and child. Most who practice attachment parenting chestfeed their child well into their toddler years, citing that the nutrition and bonding properties of chestfeeding are beneficial for the child well after the traditional weaning window (between 6 months - 1 year.)
Enhances Cognitive Development: Attachment parenting can enhance cognitive development by providing opportunities for parents to engage in responsive interactions with their child. These interactions can promote language development for the child beginning at an earlier age than other parenting styles, as you are in constant contact and communication with your child around their needs and wants.
Fosters Emotional Intelligence: Attachment parenting can help children develop emotional intelligence by allowing them to express their feelings and needs in a safe and supportive environment. This can help them learn to regulate their emotions and develop empathy for others. While some argue that attachment parenting doesn’t provide as many problem solving skills or independent thinking as other parenting styles, the emotional piece of attachment parenting is incredibly important for this particular style of parenting.
Potential Challenges of Attachment Parenting:
Limits Independence: Some critics argue that attachment parenting can limit a child's independence by creating a dependency on the parent for comfort and reassurance. This can make it challenging for children to develop self-reliance and confidence as they age, causing them to rely on their parents for longer than other children.
Causes Sleep Deprivation: Co-sleeping, a common practice in attachment parenting, can cause sleep deprivation for parents. Sharing a bed with a child can lead to disrupted sleep patterns, making it difficult for parents to get the rest they need. Co-sleeping can be a common practice among many different types of parenting styles, however with attachment parenting the co-sleeping often happens well into toddler and childhood, which can certainly cause disrupted sleep as your child grows and takes up more physical space in the bed.
Can Be Exhausting: Attachment parenting can be physically and emotionally exhausting for parents, especially when children demand constant attention and care. This can lead to burnout and stress, which can affect both parent and child. If you are interested in attachment parenting as a parenting philosophy, make sure you are able to take breaks as needed and that you have supports that allow you to step away if you become overwhelmed. Remember - you are in need of emotional compassion as well!
Not For Everyone - and That’s Okay!: Attachment parenting requires a significant time commitment and may not be feasible for all families. Single parents, working parents, and those with multiple children may find it challenging to implement some of the practices associated with attachment parenting. However, if this is the parenting method that speaks the most to you, there are ways to implement parts of this practice throughout your parenting. The reality is, no one does parenting 100% perfect all of the time. As long as you are doing your best, no matter what method you choose to follow, you are doing more than enough!
Ultimately, the decision to adopt an attachment parenting approach should be based on what works best for the family and the child's unique needs. If you have questions about attachment parenting, or any other philosophies of parenting, reach out to our doulas today. We are happy to discuss different parenting styles and how to best help you incorporate them into your parenting practice while supporting you and your family!
